AUTHENTIC GROWLING HAMSTERWEAR. Self-serving? We don't think so, although you would be doing us a huge favor by both buying and wearing this t-shirt. Send us a photo of you (or a friend) wearing one, and we'll send you another shirt of your choice. Free!

Remember college? It was that thing you did for a few months after high school. Remember? Even if you didn't go to college (in fact, you're infinitely more suitable as a customer if you didn't even attend high school), you were probably jealous of those big, studly jocks dripping with muscles and cheerleaders. Now, you can pretend you're just like them. Get on the team without even trying out! The following sports might not have bowl games, but you'll agree they're the most popular. Varsity Projectile Vomiting Crew. A game of distance, not speed. Varsity Ass Kicking Crew. Big jocks. Small brains. Smells like school spirit. Varsity Remedial Reading Crew. Pick reality over fantasy for once. Varsity Insemination Crew. Only freshmen wear condoms, dude. Varsity Bloodsucking Crew. Chicks dig vampires, man. Seriously. Varsity Flesh Eating Crew. Even if your school's team wasn't the Fighting Cannibals.